The Toy
by IceCreamProphet
Summary: I've been out of the fan fiction game for so long and I couldn't find the time to write another 50 Days of White Rose entry, but I still wanted to write so I did this little drabbe real quick. It's mature, but not lewd, but also comedic and fluffy. And yes, it's White Rose


Ruby and Weiss Rose-Schnee sat quietly on the edge of the king-sized bed they shared in Schnee Manor's master bedroom. Weiss had made sure everything was under the highest level of secrecy, with the door locked and the recently rehired Klein under strict orders to stay away from the room, the heavy fabric curtains were also pulled tightly shut, blocking any bit of glass from the large, gothic windows. In fact, the only light in the room came from the antique lamp on Weiss' nightstand, it's dust powered glow casting jagged shadows throughout the interior.

In front of them, on top of the large dresser where Ruby kept her clothes, was a small parcel that was resting in a shredded nest of brown wrapping paper that had been torn asunder by Ruby's quick hands. The item was still in its factory sealed packaging and neither wife made a move to even so much as take it off the dresser. The silence was the only sound, besides the gentle tick-toking of the grandfather clock in the corner. Neither Weiss nor Ruby spoke, both of them keeping their eyes locked on the package in front of them. After what seemed like an eternity of soul-crushing silence, Ruby spoke up to at least start some form of dialogue.

"So, it's uh...pretty big, huh?" she said with a nervous laugh. Weiss said nothing, merely tapped an impatient finger on the fabric of her ice blue pencil skirt. She had come straight home from the office, leaving early in fact, when Ruby called her to say a package had arrived from 'Dreamy Desires' addressed to her. Being a Freelance Huntress, Ruby had odd hours and so it wasn't uncommon for her to be home during the day. "Are-are you going to wear it...?" Ruby asked timidly. Now Weiss finally spoke.

"Me?!" she shot back incredulously. "You were the one who wanted this...this..._device_!" she added with a derisive snort. Ruby's silver eyes went wide with shock and she sputtered with surprise.

"I did no such thing!"

"You were the one who said we should improve our love life!" Weiss said, pointing a well-manicured finger at her spouse. But Ruby put her hands up and shook her head in disagreement.

"I never told you to buy a big rubber ding dong, Weiss! I wanted you to spend more time at the Manor with me and less at the office. I'm not wearing that, having it flopping around between my legs! I don't know how boys can live like that!"

The item in question was a strap on, featuring a bright purple rubber phallus attachment. When Ruby unwrapped it, she nearly passed out seeing the toy, having no clue what Weiss had ordered. Now a debate had broken out over who was responsible for bringing this toy into their bedroom and who would be the "giver" and who would be the "receiver".

"Well, I'm not wearing it!" Weiss said definitively.

"So return it? Get your Lien back!" Ruby said, but Weiss sighed in defeat.

"I can't do that, Ruby. I had my accounting firm set up a dummy corporation under a fake name under a one-time use credit card to make this purchase. Weiss Rose-Schnee didn't purchase this, but Olaf Von Wasterburten did and all information of 'him' has been scrubbed from public records. I did not want this coming back to me at all."

"But you had it shipped here?"

"I took precautions!" Weiss retorted. "I made sure it was wrapped in nondescript brown paper and there no was return address, just a small Dreamy Desires logo. The postman probably didn't even notice."

Ruby sighed and ran her hands through her close-cropped blackish red hair and gave a sarcastic chuckle.

"So we're stuck with this rubber ding dong that neither you or I want? So what are we going to do with it?" she asked. Weiss merely shrugged.

"Maybe Yang and Blake might want it?" she asked optimistically, but the look of terror on Ruby's face let her know that this was not an acceptable idea.

"I am not gifting my sister this...this naughty toy!" she cried. "Would you give it to Winter?" Weiss visibly shuddered at the thought.

"Point taken," she said darkly. "So that brings us back to square one. We could just put in the closet and forget about it, but I wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing it could be discovered so easily."

"I'll get rid of it!" Ruby said cheerfully. Weiss blinked in surprise and cocked a curious eyebrow.

"And how do you plan on doing that? If this involves starting another fire in the backyard, so help me I will-"

"No, no, no, nothing like that!" Ruby said, reassuring her wife. "I have a plan and I'll take care of it. I promise it'll be good. Okay?"

Something inside of Weiss was screaming, but against her better judgment, she put faith that Ruby could properly dispose of the erotic appendage.

"Okay, I trust you," she said, giving Ruby a soft kiss on the cheek as a sign of approval.

A week later, Weiss was pacing around the dining room, making sure every plate, glass and silverware set was immaculate and in perfect order. This would be a huge dinner, inviting the rest of team RWBY, JNR, Oscar, Winter, Tai, Qrow and more. A celebration of one year of married life for Ruby and Weiss and they decided to invite all of their friends and family for a huge celebration. Most of the guests were congregating in the lounge as Klein brought them their drinks and hors d'oeuvres, but Qrow was running frustratingly late.

"Have you spoken with your Uncle lately?" Weiss demanded, panic creeping in her voice. But Ruby was there to give her a reassuring hug and a quick peck on the forehead.

"He called ahead and said traffic was bad, so he was going to fly in crow form. I set up a perch in the backyard for him to land on and he should be here any minute."

Almost as if on cue, the squawking cry of a crow was heard, following by footsteps crunching up the gravel path to the backdoor. Klein was there to greet Qrow and guide him to the lounge, but a rather startled looking Qrow Branwen instead went to the dining room and pulled his niece aside, whispering so only she could hear his raspy voice.

"We need to talk about what you're using as a bird perch, kiddo..."


End file.
